Waterpark Lifeguards

Ok, I do have one bit of recent craziness to relate. This has to do with my friend and former co-worker Josh and the Waterpark of America.

Josh quit his job a few days before I got back from Kentucky which is when I told my boss that I don't want to be on the road building waterslides anymore.

After giving my notice, I borrowed a car from my boss and stopped to see Josh on my way home. I talked Josh into coming up to The Cities to ride the slides at the Waterpark of America (Great Lodge). It was a spontaneous decision and I didn't even know for sure that the place was open yet. I talked to someone who said he'd seen an ad for it so he thought that it was open. Another former co-worker (Rob) was hanging around, so he went with us too. We got there and found out that it was opening day. The best ride there is the Flowrider (it's a standing wave that you can surf on), but that really has nothing to do with this story. We went back a week or so later when I returned my boss's car and got a ride back to The Cities with Josh in his Camaro(Rob had gone home so it was just Josh and me)

They have a lot of hot and semi-hot lifeguards. So I was encouraging Josh to talk to them, get their names, you know. Here's how the scenario would go:

Josh would find a cute lifeguard and start talking to (flirting with) her. I'd talk and flirt too, but I'm not really interested in picking up any lifeguards. I'd have to keep encouraging him because he's pretty shy and stuff. We'd talk a bit, ride the slide, come back to the top and talk some more. As we're heading back up, I'd say "find out her name" or "how old is she" - stuff like that. They change stations frequently, so we'd have to find her again. We played it cool and didn't just keep riding the same slides over and over, we'd give it some time, go around the park, etc, and then find her again. This is how the encounters would always end:

Me: some question about the lifeguard
Josh: No, it's over.
Me: What, why?
Josh: She's only 17 (or maybe not quite 17)
Me: So. Tell her that she can tell her parents that you're 17 (or something like that)

But Josh is too honorable for such deceit.

So anyway, we had fun meeting them and getting to know them and it was a good character building/learning experience for both of us.

sane for a while

Sorry, I haven't been getting too crazy lately. I'm quitting my job - I just have to go on one last trip to Jamaica and then I'm done. And I bought a car. And I bought and installed a cd player (plays mp3 cds) and 4 new speakers (the old ones were total junk). After Jamaica, I'll be driving around the country visiting family and hanging out at the lake. I'm ripping the audiobook Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt and burning it to an mp3 cd for on the road listening. it's like 12 hours long. I haven't listened to much of it yet, but based on what I have heard, it's really good and I recommend it to everyone.

Psychologically Stranded

I've observed that most people are trapped - afraid to leave the familiar in search of the new and exciting. It's all in the mind.

People talk of leaving the crappy little towns where they grew up in search of the great wide world out there. But when it comes down to it, they are afraid to abandon the familiar.

Vacationing is one thing - you leave "home" temporarily and always have the security of knowing that you will return. When people are gone on vacation for an extended period, they become more anxious to return "home".

If one does manage to take the leap, they will usually exchange the security of one place for another. The new home becomes the secure place and they are now trapped in this new place.

I do not suffer from this condition. I've been travelling the country for the past eight years, rarely staying in one place for more than a few months. At this point, I don't have any geographic location that I consider "home". I guess that I consider "home" to be wherever I happen to be - or I have several homes with family throughout the country where I am always welcome to stay.

Even as a child, I do not remember ever being overly homesick. I would sometimes find it odd that other children would get homesick, throwing fits and such.

Though I do not suffer from this very common condition, I am searching within myself for other mental bonds from which I need to break free in order to reach my full potential. They are numerous and subtle.

I am going crazy

This town is weird. I don't really know if it's the town or if it's me. Maybe I'm going crazy. But one thing's for sure: I am going through some major mental changes - my desires, determination, modivation, superstitions, prejudices, and general outlook on life are all changing.

I've been behaving differently. I've been seeing things differently. I am more determined than ever to achieve my life goals. I get hyperactive. I haven't had much of an appetite. I got up pretty early yesterday instead of sleeping as long as possible.

I must be going crazy.

Don't be too concerned for me. I believe that it's all good. I like it.

Limes and Habaneros

Limes are cool. They're a little harder to eat than lemons. Get the ones with a little thicker skin. Don't eat the ones with the thin, hard skin - these ones almost made me puke.

Habanero sauce is cool. You can drink it straight out of the bottle. Or, if those observing the scene are concerned about cooties, you can use a shot glass or small dish to drink it from. If the sauce is a bit too thick to drink in this manner (it kind of stays in the glass and slowly flows out) you can use a straw to slurp it up. I was drinking a semi-thick green habanero sauce and it looked pretty cool coating the inside of the straw.

Seperately, both limes and habanero are cool. But I do not recommend that you ingest them both in one meal. In fact, my stomach is still tormenting me over it. It feels like I just got punched in the gut.

On an interesting side note, I have experienced the psychological aspects of the hiccups. Even a modest amount of pepper sauce will give me the hiccups. But if I tell someone that I will get the hiccups by drinking it, then I can down like an entire shot of it and not get them. I need to find a way to overcome this problem.

Women are Crazy

A few nights ago, I was scolded by a 44 year old woman for not seducing her daughter's friend.